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Today is the 2nd time I've cried in my car to this song. Sobbing after work because of the injustice I now face in the adult world. This same song so many kids grew up hearing while they marveled at the corporate made heroism of wrestling's greatest face. The rattling of shakers set the tone of the tune. The hissing of serpents echoing in the background, broken by the emphatic “GRRRRRT RAFADOO”. The nonsensical war cry has no time to register as he sprints out on stage. Throwing his shirt to the fans and saluting to the crowd as he gets into the ring. There he is…John Cena. An icon of the mid-to-late 2000s. A hero has entered the arena, and the crowd erupts in what they know to be his inevitable victory over those who side with evil!

Music to my ears and the reason for my blubbering sobs because the child in me so desperately wants this feeling of redemption to be rooted in reality. A benevolent shining beacon to storm in and fix all that has been made wrong. Similar to my love for Superman currently, I loved John Cena as a child. I knew when those horns, with so much bravado, blasted, that everything was going to be alright. That John Cena was going to win and that the day would be saved!

I often fantasize about a similar event happening in our lives. A powerful, righteous, and good-willed force moves and saves all of us who are drowning in misery. Those of us who desperately work 9-5s barely making it paycheck to paycheck. Those of us who are under the boot of oppression because of our gender, because of our race, because of who we choose to love. Those of us who are children and see a genocide happening to our people, those of us who are houseless, those of us under persecution because we speak the truth. If only someone would save us from the system that's hell bent on crushing us.

This, however, will never happen and that is why I sob. That powerful force will never come, no matter how much the religious folk pray. A singular being will not rush out onto the ring as we are being assailed by fascist thugs. We will not experience someone jumping off the top ropes, frog splashing onto those who have taken and destroyed our land. We will not see the ones who have killed our family face a five finger knuckle duster that could send a man to his maker. A hero is not coming. No great man will save us.

We cannot just throw in the towel, take off our boots, and retire. We must learn to liberate ourselves. On our own we have very little power, but collectively, we can destroy kingdoms. The corporate images of these heroes are meant to distract us. Infantilizing us and playing on the laziness of some, while coaxing the scared inner child of others into submission. Together we have to fight back. Work isn’t only hard for you, it’s hard for your co-workers too. Learn to find common ground in that struggle. Organize, create a union, and fight those who exploit your labor. Our communities need us and the oppressors do not want us to realize and actualize the power we have as one unified front. As much as I yearn to be saved by a force fighting for good, as much as I wish I had the power to be that singular force, we can only create a world that will be better for us by manifesting it through our collective power.

Recently, I have been thinking about how lucky I am to have the friends I do in my life. A lot of them know that I often find myself with this inescapable feeling of loneliness or melancholy, but I don’t express the amount of joy and happiness that they bring to my life. I’m sure my melancholic and cynical attitude towards life won’t leave me anytime soon, but we all need monuments in our life to remind us of what has been done and what can be done. This blog will stand as a monument to all the friends I have currently, all the friends who have lifted me up in the past, and to those new friends I may meet in the future.

I of course, must start with my two bestest boys. They are the foundation for which I even understand the concept of friend. At this point I have known them longer than I haven’t, and I appreciate every day that I get to continue being in their lives. Without them, I would probably be a much different, bitter, angry, manipulative, and sad person. They have altered the texture of my soul in unique ways. Both of them acting like second selves to me, but reflecting back to me in different ways. One of them is sensitive, pragmatic, and wistful. He reflects to me my own soft parts, maintaining their purity, but also protecting me from my own demons. He has been there for me since a child, at my beck and call like a warm cloak to keep me warm from the bitter harshness of life. Formulating together like two trees whose roots are intertwined, this friend and I have truly grown together and molded each other into better men.

The other bestest boy being someone I met as a teenager, came into my life a little later, but his effects on me heightened aspects of my soul that I didn’t even know existed. This one is courageous, humanitarian, and brilliant. He reflects to me my desire for justice, compassion, and love to come to all. That the weakest of us deserves dignity and rights just as much as the strongest of us. Like a teacher, he has taught me not only about the world but has smashed my understanding of our place in it. We are not put here by God (Allah) to merely enjoy in the hedonistic pleasures that come with the gift of living. We have moral responsibility to all our neighbors and children to leave the world in a better condition than when we found it. Like a candle light up in a dark room, the light of his knowledge reveals truths that were hidden in plain sight.

These two men act as my wings that help me navigate throughout this life. Even when turbulence hits, even when we do not always get a long, even when life brings us into deep despair, I know that these two men will always have my back.

If like planets, these two men are my orbiting moons, than the group of people I will describe in the rest of this blog are my neighboring celestial bodies. They number in the dozens, but they all are so very meaningful to me.

In my immediate orbit, I have 3 celestial frames that visit me often. One of them is quiet, soft spoken, yet fights for what is right. He may not speak much but he stands up when it matters. He reflects to me my own timidness but determination to do what is right. For As they say, actions speak louder than words. Another is eccentric yet grounded. Sharp yet dull, almost like a living paradox you can truly never know what move he will make next. The quirkiness and chaos of his mind gives me solace though. He reflects to me that the snaps, pops, and sparks of life inside of us should not be muffled. They should push us towards action that will help us further understand the depths of our own mind. The third man is loyal, kind, and creative. He acts as an observer. He witnesses more than he engages, leaving room for others to express themselves. A warm and gentle wind permeates any room he enters. When he is around, you feel a sense of stability and lightness. When he is not, it is missed

The wider celestial bodies that I orbit around encapsulate my sector of the stars and keep my motions distinct and upright. Although I may not see them as often, they play pivotal roles in the construction my character and views on life. There is one that is empathetic, kind, and patient. He breathes life into the youth. Aligning their minds with those who actively sought for a better world. He reflects to me the need to not only be patient with others, but to be patient with ourselves. We all have much to learn, it is okay to make mistakes. Coming into my life around the same time there is another that is calm, comforting, and warm. He always knows what to say and rarely overreacts to anything you present to him. He has an understanding nature about him that will have you feeling as if you can reveal your darkest secrets. He reflects to me our collective yearn to be understood, to be heard, and to be accepted. There is another that is scholarly, soft, and unhindered. Their spirit is familiar to me, as if I have already met them in another life. They refuse to allow the standards of our current world to restrict them and dictate how they ought to live, even with the normal pressures of society they have carved out a truly wonderful path. They reflect to me our ability to choose for ourselves how we want to live, screw what everyone else thinks. Coming as a pair there is another that is inspiring, dynamic, and thoughtful. She is like a warm sunspot in the winter or a nice sea breeze on a hot day. Just a joy to be in the presence of. I truly cannot imagine someone meeting this person and not smiling at least once. They have given me some of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received, and have inspired me to pursue my passions with renewed vigor. She reflects to me our ability to put passion into everything we do, from joking with our friends, to bookbinding, and cloth stitching.

Then there are those who have since left my orbit. Those who, even though they are not around, I can still feel their affects. There were four of them, but together we felt like one. I used to spend every day after practice in high school hanging with this group of friends. We laughed, played games, and talked about girls. During those moments, it felt like they adopted me as a little brother. Right before I met them I was questioning how worth it was to keep on living and before I could make a hasty decision they picked me up off my feet and carried me on their backs. We spent an entire summer together. The five of us during the day would go to the beach and amusement parks, we would freestyle in the car, scheme about ways to make money, gossip about who liked whom, and chatted about our favorite rappers. I will never forget those nights of driving around, playing music, talking about our girl troubles, and sitting shotgun while they would drift their cars. They reflect to me our deep desire to join in community with those around us. To know we are not alone in this journey.

Now, there are those who like rogue planets have pierced across my skies and are starting to join in my orbit. There is one that is sweet, honest, and playful. She disarms me and allows me to be a more silly and goofy version of myself that I am often far from. Unafraid of acting a fool and being herself she keeps everyone around her in state of softness and whimsy. She reflects to me how the only way to move throughout this life is by being yourself and being honest with yourself. Then there is the latest one that is funny, tender, and artistic. He is a man of deep waters and utilizes this to further his artistry and personality. There are sides to him that I have yet to experience but this only makes every interaction with him the more delightful. Making a new friend, especially one as nice as he is, is truly what makes life worth living for me. He reflects to me the mysteries of humanity that we ought to discover with the curiosity instilled into us by the divine.

I am so incredibly happy and grateful to know all these people. The crazy part is, there are so many more friends I have too. Maybe one day I will add to this monument and talk about my love for the other companions I have in my life, but for now, I will leave this blog as is. Peace and love y’all.