Bones
2023. Spooky Love, VHS Ghost
What a sad little song this is. Its got one solemn guitar that strums in the back as the singer groans and mumbles the lyrics out. The singers voice is overlayed so it gives this shakiness to how he's singing that makes it sound like at any moment he will break down into tears. Meanwhile, theirs this staticky feedback sound that hums in the background of the entire track which to me, helps amplify that solitary vibe the track is going for. Like your in your bedroom with the blinds barely open, It's dusk, your room is messy, the A/C barely works, and the TV is on but ain't nothing playin on it. Alright, thats it. That's the song review. Do not read past this point if you don't want to see the sad ramblings of a pathetic man.
I like this song, it's comforting in a weird way. Gives me pause and makes my own solitude feel more understood. I Generally feel pretty alone, or maybe misunderstood or disconnected are better words for what i'm feeling? I often find myself with this dull sensation that I don't (or can't) truly connect with those around me. Yet, I have family that loves me, friends that would do anything for me, and i've had romantic partners in the past. It's not like i'm unlovable or something, yet almost everyday i'm struck with this sense that my life will come and go without ever feeling truly understood. Without ever feeling like I have found someone, or found a community, that I can fully be myself without being exiled or turned into a black sheep. I try not to be foolish in my thinking too. I don't expect any of this connection without friction or a need for me to change/grow, but it's like I can barely even begin to unveil pieces of myself without some form of aversion. Especially when it comes to my melodrama and dejectedness. It's the reason why I find it hard to cry in front of people, and even cry in general. Even when those feelings get to a tipping point I usually stuff them down and deal with them later on my own.
All of this is made even worse beause it seems like those around me don't even struggle with this. That this sense of wanting to connect at an intimate level is not something people even care about. It's as if they are fine going throughout life skating on the surface level of their emotions. Then I come along, wanting a connection with depth and either end up looking stupid (like when I asked one of my homeboys when he was sad where he felt it in his body and he freaked out on me) or I end up becoming a dumping ground for others emotions. The latter would be fine if the same care was reciprocated, but often its not. I'm just used as an emotional battery for those who also feel deeply, but can't confront their more vulnerable parts on their own. All of this just ends up furthering my affinity for my own apathy. Maybe, that's what's best for me in the end. Maybe, all the people in my life who've told me that i'm just being too sensitive are right. Maybe, I just need a brand new set of bones...
"Not scared to die, just scared to hope..."
Punk Tactics
2023. Punk Tactics, Joey Valence & Brae
So, me and my friends have developed this tradition that I am increasingly fond of. We meet every week either online or in person, play guessing games, talk about politics, play some sort of ttrpg, have debates over random topics, and most important to this review, show off updates we’ve made to our websites. This song has an incredible unofficial music video that someone made. Now, instead of just asking my friends if I can show it to them, I'm simply going to bypass that social interaction and add the link to it right here in the review. Come back after watching, I got more shit to say.
Dope right? You can tell the animator wanted whoever watched it to feel every part of the song, from slowly marching horns at the beginning, to the trunk knocking bass throughout the track. This song somehow makes me feel old though. This type of rebellious and defiant attitude isn’t as common in the youth anymore. Specifically in the western world where this aesthetic first developed. Instead of teens disobeying the cops, tagging walls, and breaking rules, we now have chronically online looksmaxxing-ai-slop-infantilized-crypto-bros. Shit is so lame man. I grew up with the idea being gangsta, punk, and counter-culture was cool. All over the media landscape in the early 2000s was the ethos that fighting against the system made you dope as hell. Now we got kids who look up to Elon Musk and Charlie Kirk.
Why am I surprised though? All of this rebelliousness is only skin deep. None of us in the west have faced weapons of mass destruction, have had soldiers raid our homes, Foreign countries build military bases in our neighborhoods, and bombs be dropped on our children (although my people have had our churches blown up). What I'm trying to say is that the real rebels are not the posers who just try to cosplay the aesthetic. The real rebels are people like brotha Malcolm, Fidel Castro, Goyathlay, Huey P, Assata Shakur, Marilyn Buck, John Brown, and Mojtaba Khamenei. If we are to look anywhere for punk tactics, or better yet, revolutionary tactics, these men and women should be our starting points.
edit: The boys liked it. also, they told me to add Ho Chi Minh. Shouts out uncle Ho!
"Hit ya with the punk tactics!"
Thieves In The Night
1998. Mos Def & Talib Kweli Are Black Star, Black Star
A very thoughtful song about the ways in which we (the black community) are being controlled by our environment to be impotent and harmless. Mos Def and Talib Kweli expose the many pit falls we can get ensnared in from material distractions, engaging heavily in the spectacle, and believing in what the oppressor has said about us. They complement this with how the music industry and capitalists at large get us to fall into rank. Through bread and circus, the threat of poverty, and importing violence/addictions into our communities. We dance to their tunes and play the parts we are given. Afraid that if we start to see past the illusion, we might face more violence than we are already experiencing. If this is how we think, did we ever really leave the plantations? This all gets explained over a pretty simple, yet effective, jazzy hip-hop beat. I would only listen to this if you are in the mood to reflect deeply on the lyrics and understand where both these brothas are coming from. It’s a great track that is packed with a ton to think about.
"Not strong, only aggressive, cause the power ain't directed. That's why, we are subjected to the will of the oppressive."
So Into You
1998. Tamia, Tamia
I love this song so much. I first heard it as a kid, my momma would play it in the car while driving me to pre-k. One of my first memories is actually going to pre-k with this song on in the background. My momma would bring me early to school and she would sit me on her lap while I played with the car steering wheel. She would giggle and laugh as I pretended I was a racecar driver. To this day I still feel the warmth of my mother’s smile behind my back as I go throughout this life. That feeling of love and delight will stick with me forever.
With that being said, as an adult, I have a better understanding of the yearning and romance in this track. It’s actually quite a simple song that doesn’t do anything fancy, but it's considered a quintessential R&B song. Sadly, I think that this sense of desire has been lost in our current media landscape. With the pornification of everything there is no sense of desire or seduction anymore. Only the hedonistic gratification that comes with lewdness. Songs like this used to be commonplace and the idea of building up romance, or really any emotion at all, was so prevalent. Now muhfuckers out here are just gooning to whatever so that they can get their rocks off. People really sacrificed this type of intimacy and connection to be put into a semi-conscious trance where you can easily be marketed towards. The real kicker is that because we deny any real intimate connection with one another, we deny a real connection with ourselves. What do we truly want out of our friendships, families, and lovers? How do we really feel about the connections we make with people, and how genuine are those connections really? It’s crazy to me how extremely prude most people are when it comes to the emotional backbone of sensuality/vulnerability, yet have an unceasing appetite for pornographic signifiers. We would rather label genuine desire for someone/something as cringe, and instead consume lewd symbols that are programmed for us to form an unhealthy dependency towards.
"I think you're truly something special."
Between Friends
2023. Flying Lotus ft. Earl Sweatshirt
This is my go to song when it's an ungodly hour of the night and I’m feeling creative and free. A track that reminds of how the cloak of night used to always feel so liberating for me. In the dark and alone my mind feels a weight lift off of it. Like I finally have permission to really be myself. Permission to be as messy, creative, and sad as I want. I used to bump this song quite a bit when I was out getting up by myself in the town I went to college in. Those were some fun times. A really comforting track for me personally and it's filled with dope bars, dope beats, and it has two of my favorite artists. This song was made for me and I appreciate adult swim for helping it get produced.
"This is why we had bring the guns out, Rattled neighbors windows every night until the suns out."
Happy September
2023. Free Samples, Vol 1., femdot.
I listened to this song quite a bit after one of my friends passed away. I used this track as a way to grieve I guess, let my thoughts and emotions flow and just feel the pain of losing someone. Often, I’ve been told I’m too sensitive so I can be averse to really sitting down and feeling what's going on inside of me. When my friend passed my first reaction was to distance myself from the group of friends I met him in. Not exactly my proudest moment but I wasn’t sure how to react, when the news came that Raul had shot himself I felt a deep coldness race through my body. What do you mean he’s gone? What do you mean he took his own life? I just spoke to him last night. We were just joking around in discord and talking about the next time I would travel to his city and see him. We were just talking about how stressed he is not having his papers, how much he wishes he could go to college or start his own business but can’t. We were just laughing together about his plans of marrying some random rich white women so he could become a legal citizen. We were just out at the club, I was feeling awkward about dancing but he grabbed my hand flashing that sincere smile he always donned and started dancing with me. He told me that I should never feel weird about dancing with my friends, for loving my friends. I love you dawg, I pray one day that i’ll be able to dance with you again. Long Live Raul.
"Almost died a million times, but I ain't know that God was gon take my homies instead"
Unwritten
2004. Unwritten, Natasha Bedingfield
Listening...
Constants are Changing
2005. The Campfire Headphase, Boards of Canada
I really want everyone who is reading this to listen to this song. Let me preface some stuff and spark your imagination a little bit before you do. This song lowkey means a lot to me, I used to hear it a lot as a kid while watching adult swim and waiting for the next episode of the boondocks or Inuyasha. Me and my brother would stay up so late trying to watch anime for the first time. It brings back very fond memories of being a child. Imagine, being between the ages of ten to twelve years old. It’s summer and the cicadas are chirping outside, the a/c is humming all around the house masking every thought you have. You’re in your grannies' guest room, cozy, safe, and watching adult cartoons. The dark outside means the world is slumbering, you are defiant though. Using the cover of the a/c and the night, you give yourself permission for your thoughts to roam. Thoughts of school, friends, and crushes fill your brain. You fantasize about what it would be like to be popular, to fit in. What it would be like to gain everyone's love or respect. Dreams of the future start to wash over your body as glimpses of realities not lived come to mind. What happens when you get out of middle school? Will you be famous some day? Will high school be better? What if you fall in love? What if you become something unrecognizable? What if you become exactly what you’ve always wanted to be? What if you travel the world and see all that there is to it? At the end of it all, will you be okay? Will people say that you were someone worth being around? All those thoughts, swirling, breathing, and transporting you to places that one day your life may go. All those thoughts slip away as the theme song for Samurai Champloo starts and your world returns to being as small as a little boy.
Pleen 1930s
2001. Clark
Listening...
My People...Hold On
1972. People...Hold On, Eddie Kendricks
A hard thing to do on most days as a black person in this country. I guess it’s not a solo activity though. Something we can all help each other out with. Until the day this oppressive system is smashed to bits, we must keep holding on.
"I realize how hard you tried. I can see the struggle in your eyes..."
Communicating With Dolphins
2025. Jitta On The Track ft. My Favorite Color
I love when black hip-hop artists get a little goofy. Not all tracks need to be about proving something to an imaginary opponent. Sometimes you just wanna rap about the fact that you communicatin’ with dolphins or the fact you put your bandana on first before your durag. All the lyrics are packed with similes, entendres, and humor. Such an enjoyable track by two up and coming artists.
"Is it personification if its Jitta on the beat? No, It's personification if its the beat on top of me."
A Faithful Spirit
2023. A faithful Spirit, Polyphonic Music Library
This shit right here man, this reminds of my mama. One of my many songs I go to when I just need to cry some emotions out. A song (really a sampling audio) that reminds of the times I used to see my mom stressed out while taking me to day care. She would try to hide it, but I could see it in her eyes. I could hear it in the desperation of her voice as she sang gospel songs on the radio with the last bit of energy she had. Some days she wouldn’t even put on any music, I would just hear her mutter prayers to herself as she figured out how she was gonna get me to daycare, while dropping off my sister on the opposite side of town, all before work started. This was damn near five in the morning when she was doing this. Probably ain’t even sleep good last night cuz’ she gotta figure out bills, figure out how she gonna feed three mouths by herself. When I play this song I’m reminded of her strength, reminded of the fact that she used these gospels to keep herself sane. Now, this ain’t exactly one of those gospel songs she listened to in those early mornings, but I feel like this song exemplifies my entire understanding of gospel music. The piano chords are slow and creeping. The chorus singers and their harmony are haunting yet full of pain. Ending with instructions and a hopeful message this feels like home to me. The hope that a higher power will carry you while being in the middle of suffering. Damn, I need to call my mama.
"live by faith."
4 Raws
2025. Rebel, EsDeeKid
I ain’t even gonna lie to you my nigga, this song is a certified bop. If you spend any time on the internet then you may have already heard this song with a certain white boy of the year featured on it. The version I've been listening to does not have him on it and thank god. No shade Timothee, you just don’t got that spitting-when-you-talk Liverpool accent that elevates this track for me. From the beat, to the lyrics, to the cadence, this song feels so dirty and I love it. Dat english bloke did his ting on this one yea?
"I'm a scumbag, I was raised in Liverpool slums, lad...
I'm a dirty dog, I'm a young rat"
Gwendolyn's Apprehension
2018. Pieces of a man, Mick Jenkins
A real smooth song with a real smooth dreamlike beat that feels like its sampling something straight out of a zelda game on the N64. The chorus has a great melodic swing to it and its no wonder because it comes from a poem made by Gwendolyn Brooks. I originally heard this song while riding with one of my homegirls getting some pizza. It really fit the vibes.
"You niggas be too cool for me, Too many social rules for me."
Perfectly Not Close To Me
2022. COPINGMECHANISM, WILLOW
Mmm This guitar sure has a tasty lick to it. Willows vocals are a little too angsty for my liking but Yves tumor's slick autotuned voice compliments it well enough. I just want more of this guitar man, It's a short song so it really feels like a tease too.
"I just need to get out of my life"
Human Target Practice
2014. Wake, Hail The Sun
Listening...
Drop The Bomb
2018. Single, Youth Of The Apocalypse
What a painful song when you really listen to the lyrics. MF DOOM and Youth Of The Apocalypse provide a beautiful and heartbreaking hip-hop single. There are somber guitars spread throughout this track with a groovy bass guitar keeping the funky rhythm going when MF DOOM is making his biting critiques of western imperialism. The chorus is the most gut-wrenching of all though. The members of youth of the apocalypse in unison cry out the inner thoughts of all people who have faced the threat of western bombing. To push their point even further the final chorus of the song has the voices of children with them. An amazing song that really does not hold back from what these two groups are trying to get across. Part of me wishes they would have pushed the point even further by naming specific countries the west has tried to destroy, but they didn’t. Places like Vietnam, Korea, Palestine, Libiya, Iraq, and Congo must never be forgotten. We must always stay vigilant to what western Imperialism has done and is planning to do.
"Drop the bomb. Their's tears in our eyes and we don't know where to hide."
Country
2021. Barnyard, Good Morning
Listening...
Finesse
2024. Limitless - A Trap Symphony, Michael Prince
Listening...